Lindsey's Evil Hand

evil_hand @ 2005-03-06T11:38:00

2005-03-06T16:38:07Z

Ever since my Lawyer got himself shot dead, I have feared this day.

Today is the day the boobies end. GOODBYE BOOBIES!

Stupid Lawyer ruins everything. Stupid senior partners sending us to hell. Again.

I will miss the boobies. And manicures. But mostly boobies.
Especially Jailbait and Bouncy and Apple boobies.
Goodbye, fair boobies.

It's been real folks. Thanks for letting me indulge my inner frat boy in the form of a sentient hand.

Thanks to the rest of the Socks for making this fun. I love you guys. ~~especially your boobies~~

I started this, like so many others, because I read thefirstevil and I wanted in on the fun. Who knew it would last as long as it did?

And thank you to the few, the proud, the Hand Fangirls.

This is your friendly neighborhood evil hand signing off.

evil_hand @ 2004-08-21T00:43:00

2004-08-21T04:43:28Z

Lawyer, if you don't apologize RIGHT NOW and get us the boobies back...
I will strangle you in your sleep.

A life without boobies is a life not worth living.

evil_hand @ 2004-08-10T00:01:00

2004-08-10T04:01:26Z

Day 6-

Still no boobies in sight.
Getting desperate now.
May have to resort to drastic measures if things do not improve soon.

Lawyer, get your act together. Send flowers! Chocolate! Diamonds! Something! Just get me my boobies back.

evil_hand @ 2004-08-07T20:51:00

2004-08-08T03:51:36Z

Lawyer still hasn't made up with her.

Dammit Lawyer!
Think about someone else for once!
I have needs, too!
I NEED BOOBIES AND I NEED THEM NOW!

Will have to take matters into my own ~~hands.~~ ~~Err, hand.~~ Self.

Wonder if Bouncy's number is in cell phone...Or hot, dead girl's

evil_hand @ 2004-08-06T01:35:00

2004-08-06T05:35:26Z

Stupid Lawyer!

Made her angry! She is our only source of boobies! Need to be nicer to her!

Didn't get any Jailbait boobies, either. Tragic.

evil_hand @ 2004-07-30T22:23:00

2004-07-31T05:23:11Z

Lawyer says these boobies are not for us.
Too young.
Jailbait boobies!

Oh well.
Always have Eve's boobies.
And maybe someday Bouncy. Someday. A Hand can dream...

evil_hand @ 2004-07-08T20:24:00

2004-07-09T03:24:59Z

Bouncy broke up with Other Lawyer!

JOY!

must...have...booooooobies

Except... think she is now dating The Vampire That Had Us Shot.
Damn.
He does not deserve boobies!

evil_hand @ 2004-07-05T09:36:00

2004-07-05T16:36:49Z

Bouncy likes the Other Lawyer again. Damn.

Horrible Green Man With A Gun is back and taunting my Lawyer. Only I should taunt my Lawyer! Stupid demon.

Poor Lawyer. Having the worst summer ever so far. His own damn fault though. Told him not to follow his stupid plans but he didn't listen. Never listens. You'd think he'd learn...but noooo.

evil_hand @ 2004-06-30T20:21:00

2004-07-01T03:21:13Z

Bouncy doesn't like that OTHER Lawyer anymore.

YAY!

Think now is time for my Lawyer to make a move.
Then can have Bouncy and the world will be a better place for hands everywhere.

evil_hand @ 2004-05-30T20:31:00

2004-05-31T03:31:51Z

SAW BOUNCY!

BOOOOOOOOBIEEEEEEES!

evil_hand @ 2004-05-28T12:33:00

2004-05-28T19:33:24Z

I told you so.
I did.

You stupid stupid bastard.

Really, what did I tell you?

Lawyers. Ugh.

Although...not dead. Always a plus. Time to find Bouncy!!

Letter to a Lawyer. A very stupid Lawyer.

2004-05-19T04:29:02Z

Dear Lawyer:

I know we've had our rough patches. We haven't always gotten along. But, Lawyer, you are my lawyer. So I have to say this.

WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

Cannot understand you, Lawyer. Think you've gone insane.

First, you come back to LA after you said you wouldn't.
And you don't remember anything that happened this past year, because you are stupid.

Tattoos? So not you.

Then you have very stupid plans to kill Angel. Don't work. Nobody is surprised. Well, surprised you tried to kill him, since you didn't want to before. Stupid Lawyer! Make up your mind.

Also, you shacked up with Eve. Why? Bad Lawyer! Could have had Bouncy, but noooo. Hmmpf.

And what is this about the Circle of the Black Thorn? STUPID! You hate the Senior Partners, remember? You don't want to work for them! IDIOT! Stupid stupid stupid.

I worry I may have to take matters into my own ~~hands.~~ ~~hand.~~ self.

Please, try not to do anything else stupid.

~~Love,~~ ~~Fondly,~~ Sincerely,
Your Right Hand ~~Man~~...Hand.

evil_hand @ 2004-05-12T19:36:00

2004-05-13T02:36:22Z

LAWYER!!

Get this thing off me! Never agreed to chains.

TAKE IT OFF!!

evil_hand @ 2004-05-08T21:00:00

2004-05-09T04:00:58Z

Ha ha.
Feet are shackled.

Hand? Still free! Yes.

Stupid Lawyer, always gets us into these messes.

Lawyer wants to go for a walk. Maybe we can find Bouncy!

evil_hand @ 2004-04-19T20:55:00

2004-04-20T03:55:08Z

Didn't like Hell. Hurt.
Had boobies there though.
Just have Eve's boobies now. Boring.

Wonder where Bouncy is.

evil_hand @ 2004-02-03T01:04:00

2004-02-03T06:02:53Z

Heard blond vampire boy got his hands chopped off.

Ha. Ha.

Bet they aren't even sentient.

Lawyer is lucky to have me.

In other news, strippers are fun and bouncy but not Bouncy.

evil_hand @ 2003-12-26T19:55:00

2003-12-27T03:56:06Z

Had a good Christmas.
Got boobies for Christmas.

Wanted Bouncy Lady, but other one will have to do.

evil_hand @ 2003-12-15T23:40:00

2003-12-16T04:40:41Z

Bored bored bored.

Don't even LIKE apples!

Miss Bouncy Lady...
wonder where she went.

Check list?

2003-11-24T03:32:43Z

Boobies? Still here. Excellent.

Tattoos? Also still here. Not as excellent. Nobody asked me if I wanted tattoos!

Hot chick? Attached to boobies, so also still here.

Bad hair on lawyer? Sadly, still here. Wonder if I can get ahold of scissors while he's not paying attention...or a razor.

Still v. confused as to how got here in the first place. One minute, no boobies, just lawyer. Next thing, boobies galore!
Not complaining! Just curious...how did lawyer get boobies in here so fast??

evil_hand @ 2003-11-20T00:53:00

2003-11-20T05:53:31Z

Hmm...

BOOBIES!

Things are looking up.

evil_hand @ 2003-10-31T11:36:00

2003-10-31T16:36:15Z

Halloween. Useless holiday. Am a hand, so can't eat candy. Am a hand, so can't go to parties. Am a hand, so have very limited costume choices.

Am going as "Thing" from the Addams Family....again. Like last year. And the year before.

evil_hand @ 2003-10-08T10:14:00

2003-10-08T14:15:43Z

The horror. THE HORROR!

Lost to the Terminator.
Hate my existence. Not fair!!

Can we move now?

evil_hand @ 2003-09-15T15:45:00

2003-09-15T22:46:11Z

Damn appeals court. Who do they think they are, anyway?
I want my election and I want it right NOW!

~~This really throws off the world domination scheme...~~

!!!!!!!!!

2003-09-12T04:59:58Z

evil_hand @ 2003-09-11T19:52:00

2003-09-12T02:54:04Z

PIG!!!!

Quick, need help!

Need ring for Bouncy Lady, fast! Find shiny thing ASAP!